Just One More Thing

The phone's too slow, so said the chief;

With radio cars, we'll catch the thief.

Not many cars, just one or two,

One little thing for Dispatch to do...

Then came the thought of the radio log;

Hey, that's modern, we're going whole hog.

They're sitting there anyway, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

A new phone system, not tin cans and string;

Five business lines, a push-button thing.

We had phones before, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

We'll put in a window, the public to face;

We'll put it right here, in the radio place.

They're here already, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

Ambulance, hospital and ALS;

Med-Com's the thing to handle this mess.

Same spot at the desk, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

Add aircraft and fire and call us Control;

While we're at it, add Doggie Patrol.

Same console and chair, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

Add motors, the Narcs, and quite a few pagers;

All kinds of traffic, both minor and major.

We've radio already, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

Another phone board, one hundred lines;

We need them all to keep up with the times.

We had phones before so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

The public's in peril, help must come quick;

Add 9-1-1, there, that's the trick.

One phone's like the rest, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

We need to control this social unrest;

Here's the thing, let's add OES.

Same building and staff, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

The bureau's too busy to answer the phone;

Call-forward to Dispatch, they're always home.

Same number and phone, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

Have booking clear warrants?  You must be insane!

Have Dispatch do it, they're best at this game.

Same terminal, same system, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

We need better stats to get more cops;

Run more suspects, more traffic stops.

They know how already, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

We must have more info to help catch the crooks;

Another computer to balance the books.

Like the other computer, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

A citizen wonders; What took so long?

Time all responses, we can't go wrong.

They're in there already, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

The budget's a mess, we must cut back;

Fill vacant positions?  That's out of whack.

If three are needed, then two will do,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

Breaks for lunches, coffee or stretch?

Stay at the console you miserable wretch!

Never took them before, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

Re-type BOLOs to send to and fro;

No money for printers.  Where did it go?

They know how to type, so it's nothing new,

Just one more thing for Dispatch to do...

No one sees the frustration, pressure and stress;

But everyone adds their bit to the mess.

When your back's to the wall, a question to ponder,

Is Dispatch too busy to get help out yonder?

Written by Fred Mills

Cal Poly State University

Dept of Public Safety

San Luis Obispa, CA